So now, I guess I finally have a real job. (And a pretty cool shirt, thanks kt.) I have been working pretty hard for a while now, so I don't think it will be all that different. Still, I feel a little ambivalent about the whole thing, for a lot of reasons. I found a great article in the NY Times that expresses some of how I feel.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/24/magazine/24labor-t.html?ref=magazine
Basically, in the long academic tradition of skepticism, or self-doubt (call if what you will), I am not positive that what I am doing is what I REALLY want to do, or will be most beneficial to society. (I really want to do something that I feel is beneficial to soceity.) Or is even necessarily the best match for my talents, interests, proclivities. Of course, I think a healthy measure of skepticism about the value of academia is a good thing to have as an academic. You should be able to make a case for your relevance to society, and I can make that case in a dozen different ways, but that still doesn't really answer the other questions.
8 comments:
jesse, i found this very interesting (your musings and the article) thinking of you since i heard the news.
you'll be the coolest Prof. with that shirt!
we definitely need academics. trust me. doesn't mean that's all you're going to do, but it's what you are doing now and will be doing for at least the next year so do it wholeheartedly (a good way to keep all doors open).
It certainly is much easier to make this argument now that you're on the other side of the fence. A few good things for society would be: a steady job, a home for your family, and not being stressed out about taking care of that family.
BUT, you have many talents, and I do also completely believe that you could do the green consulting thing. If you do that, and start a company, I would want to work for you.
Maybe you should stay in Academia long enough to hook us up, though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QFdJnFBnaA&feature=related
at about 23 seconds and maybe a minute onward, this pianist had a good analysis of being satisfied...with life, etc. i remembered it and thought of it when i read your post. you should watch it :)
if the link doesn't work just look up "imagine... being a concert pianist-part viii" on youtube
also watch his performance, it's a great interpretation of rachmaninov
Thanks for the comments. Mariko, I am not on the other side of the fence. I am stuck underneath it, writhing in the dirt, trying not to get poked by those little things on the bottom. It's really all about the dissertation. Mom, I know we need academics, even people who study very obscure subjects, like mine, I am just not completely sure I want it to be me. Mariah, I will have to check that out.
Trust me, finish the dissertation and the whole academic world looks rosier, brighter, full of milk and honey. I'm exaggerating, but even before I got the job I felt an enormous weight off my shoulders after I finished it. While you're writing this esoteric thing you're thinking exactly these thoughts: who cares, really? Who's going to read this? Why am I doing this? But it's just the gritty, mundane part of being in a profession where you get to think through complicated things, help others think through those things, help others see value in the past, and live a life of the mind. Every job has its gritty, mundane side (even the save-the-world ones), and it always comes in waves, but not every job has the perks of academia.
Don't despair, just finish the damn thing :)
"Of course, I think a healthy measure of skepticism about the value of academia is a good thing to have as an academic." I think this is mostly true for any field, as I think it is healthy to always be evaluating and re-evaluating what you are contributing and how that measures up with what you WANT to be contributing. If at some point you find they are not matching up, you can recognize it and change things, before you become trapped at a place you don't want to be, and not know how to get out. Having said that, I would suggest that maybe R. John is right, and that you might find that all of these doubts and skepticism are a bit premature, and that once the diss. is done, you might find yourself more content with your professional situation (for now ;) ). Good luck with all.
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